Ebola be damned, I headed to Dallas for IndieVengeance Day 2, 2014 edition. It’s a long way to go to sign a few books, but there is the added bonus of seeing my editor, Scott Morgan, and Amber Jerome~Norrgard, who have both become friend and family to me, and a host of other writers that I’ve fallen in love with.

My books. The blood on the banner looks real!

My books. The blood on the banner looks real!

This trip I learned that, when they drink, tiny Spanish women are just as loud as tiny Australian women. That Dallas knows how to make a kick-ass Mojito. That balloons give off a “Private Party” vibe and scare book buyers away. That Buckeyes are a nut! (I always thought the Buckeye State was named for a sports team, not a black and brown blob that looks like petrified poop). That writers looove Batman. That it’s fun riding in Stacey Roberts‘ Looove van. That I can make killer guacamole (and defend my queen of guacamole title) with a switchblade and a throwing knife. And that I believe in Jesus. When he’s my waiter and brings me fried chicken.

with Joe Parr

Me and Joe Parr

The first signing was at Café Brazil in Richardson. The café was hopping, but our room at the back just sort of bounced up and down a little. A tiny bit of traffic, and the chance to meet Joe B. Parr, fellow member of enovelauthorsatwork.com, resulted in the sale of just one book (to Joe, no less). I did give away several booklets of my short stories, lots of cards and bookmarks. And a bunch of chocolate – mostly to Ben Ditmars.

IVD 2014 authors

IVD 2014 authors

The second day was on the patio at Savour at Watters Creek. It should have been hopping too, but an early morning cancer run seemed to suck out all the attendance for the rest of the day. Five books sold, six given as tips for amazing service and support by Tori and Taylor, a few more traded with other authors for their awesome publications. Balloons were gifted to excited children in the green space (just a tad less creepy than ‘hey kid, you wanna piece of candy?’). Then off to Red Lobster for a delicious dinner (which, in the US really is delicious. Canadian Red Lobster – not so much).

With the signing over, it was time to play….

We hit the Hard Rock Café for lunch and cocktails before heading to Dealey Plaza. Lunch turned into a raucous great time when, to our surprise and delight, a drag show started up! Dead celebrities all over the stage! My favourite was the hilarious Lucille Ball Vitameatavegamin skit. Eartha Kitt purred across the stage, Amy Winehouse found her rhythm with the help of a little baggie full of – well you figure it out, though is smelled suspiciously of baby powder. Marilyn, Judy, Selena, Rosemary Clooney, and of course, Mama Cass. Heck, Cinta Garcia-Stone and I might have even sold them a few books!

queenofguacsmallWith the drag queens all diva-ed out, it was off to the JFK museum for a long, depressing, but informative and conspiracy-theory-provoking tour of the 6th floor museum at the Book Depository and a stroll to the grassy knoll. Which, in case folks missed it, was marked with a huge yellow sign that says, yup, “GRASSY KNOLL.”

The last day was spent at the Dallas zoo, followed by outlet malls in Allen where I officially turned Amber to the dark side…. Was that a girly squee I heard? The trip was made complete with amazing pizza and triple desserts (holy cannoli, Batman!), some great wine, and the awesome company of Amber and Scott.

As fun as it was, by Tuesday morning, I was happy to be Alberta bound. Until next year, Dallas!

Please go to the IndieVengeance website to check out all the lovely and talented independent authors who took part in 2014 (even those who, due to last minute emergencies, were unable to make it – we missed them!).

 

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Quote by Blake

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

William Blake

Red Green Oranges

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