The joy of spam – oh those blog comments

by Julie Frayn on October 12, 2012 in  Bric-a-brac

I have been the victim of a sudden onrush of blog comment spam. There are usually a couple of these a day, and they far outweigh the number of real comments that land on my posts. But this week? I’ve had more than a hundred spammers discover this space and flood it with links and nonsensical attempts at faking a real comment.

And some of them are awesome. Let’s do a little analysis of one of my favorites (all original errors intact).

In response to The Joy of Spam (penis edition).

I swear, if you’d have asked me about penis enlargement a few mothns ago, I wouldn’t have reacted well at all. That’s because I think I’ve probably tried more useless junk than any other guy out there.

Useless junk. My new favorite euphemism for penis.

Pills, suction things, creams, everything. The only thing I didn’t try, thankfully, was surgery. Ask me about the subject of penis enlargement now, though, and I’m much more positive and happy to reply! That’s because of PenisAdvantage, which offers a new approach to achieving new size down below.

So this is an Australians’ only solution? Oh wait, that’s down under.

Unlike so many other things, PenisAdvantage is totally natural and safe. You use specially designed exercises to work your penis out (almost like you’d lift weights at a gym! But not for one moment are they suggesting your penis is a muscle).

Of course it’s not a muscle. It’s the brains of the operation.

It works by breaking down the cells and stretching ligaments on a microscopic level which your body then builds up again, only stronger and bigger this time. And the great thing about these techniques and routines is that they’ve been road-tested hundreds and hundreds of times.

So, this is the slut of all penis enlarging techniques. This one’s whored around hundreds and hundreds of times.

You’ve only got to check out their testimonials and member’s chat room to read about the dozens and dozens of collective inches guys have successfully created using the PenisAdvantage system.

Okay, let’s do that math, shall we? Technique has been used hundreds and hundreds of times (for arguments sake, let’s say three hundred). The result is dozens and dozens of extra penile inches (let’s use the same multiplier and call that three dozen). 300 guys gained a sum total of 36 inches of dangle. That’s .12 of an inch each. For you fellow Canadians, three millimeters. Ladies, please help me here. Would you notice?

This is worse than those ‘gold’ buffalo coins you just have to buy now at such a great price since gold is worth so much – except there’s a sum total of thirteen cents worth of gold in each. Woot! Hold onto that for your grandkids inheritance! And with an extra 3 mm of penis to work with, you’ll be pumping out future grandbaby-making kids at an alarming rate because random women will not be able to resist you in the sack.

Once you’ve decided to take the plunge, you get access to the guide, which is super easy to follow and use.

It would have to be easy with penis for brains.

They say on the site that you get instant access but I wasn’t expecting it to be as instant as it turned out to be! Before I’d blinked twice I was able to start adding size to my penis.

Isn’t that how Jeannie fixed Major Nelson’s shortcomings? No, she only needed one blink.

Good stuff – my girlfriend hasn’t stopped thanking me for becoming a member!

Or playing with your member?

You really should check out , this stuff actually works.

My penis thanks you.

Gentlemen, your turn to help. These techniques and routines this savvy spammer suggests – is this what is meant by ‘pulling your pud?’

 

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Sheila Pierson October 12, 2012 at 8:21 am

Too funny! I don’t even look in my spam box but maybe I will now to see what kind of ridiculous (slight pun inserted in the middle of previous word) comments are there… lol

Reply

Julie October 12, 2012 at 12:38 pm

My box is loaded with penis – spam I mean… Only spam :D. I even got a track back – some penis enlargement site posted a link to this post. I guess they missed the part where I’m making complete fun of them.

J Timothy Quirk October 12, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Always a treat to read your reflections on the absurdity of the written word, in this case the written words of SPAM! In this day and age don’t you think we deserve BETTER spam that the spam we have? Some men see spam and ask “why?”. I think of spam that never was and ask “why not”.

Reply

Julie October 14, 2012 at 8:16 am

So much of it is links (boring and obvious spam). Some at least attempt to speak to the post they are spamming (penisadvantage noted above). Some are just nuts! But most always, entertaining to a warped mind such as mine :)

Rossandra White October 17, 2012 at 8:56 am

I’ve never been spammed. Your take on it, makes me wish I did. Damn funny!!

Reply

Julie October 17, 2012 at 12:30 pm

I have not just been spammed, I’ve been victimized. hundreds of the damn things. And that’s with Captcha codes and all. I hope you never get them. One or two are funny. 919 (my current total) is a bit much.

Heather October 25, 2012 at 9:16 am

haha they are good for a laugh aren’t they?

Reply

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