The joy of spam, part deux

by Julie Frayn on March 14, 2012 in  Bric-a-brac

This has been a very stressful week. As much as I love to take the edge off with a glass of red wine or two, my parents taught me and my sister and brother that laughter is the best medicine. Inappropriate humour – even better! So let’s all giggle at the expense of some spammers, shall we?

The last spam post was all about the penis. Personally I’ve had just about enough of those, so today we focus on the joy of pills.

Your life is too empty – try our pills

Wow. Thanks for that reality check. I didn’t realize I was that far gone. Sounds like pills are the answer to all my problems.

Our pills are beautiful inside and out.

Isn’t that nice, the way they build up their pills’ self-esteem before selling their souls to people buying anonymous pills off the internet. To paraphrase X-tina, “You are beautiful, I’m going to swallow you. Water will wash you down…”

Our pills – when you both want it.

Want what? Both who? Both my personalities? Are these red wine pills? Instead of TMI, this is NEI. Not enough information!

Decrease your age with our pills

The spammer’s name? Mickey Camp. Can’t make this stuff up. Come to Disneyland, go to Mickey Camp, take our pills…. Oooh, look! A rabbit in a waistcoat and a crazy guy with a cool hat!

When things get out of control our pills comes to help

Spammer dude for this gem is Hubert Pitts. Poor Hubert – he is fulfilling the prophesy of his surname. Good thing he’s got them pills! They does comes to the rescue.

Can’t keep your feet on the ground when our pills is around

Don’t know who sent it, but I bet it’s Hubert’s cousin, Ottoman Pitts. Them must be some big pills if you can rests your feet on ‘em and keep ‘em off the ground.

Go far with Our Pills

I’ve heard of pills like these. Low Sodium Dioxide. No… Latent Saline Ditriptiphan. No… Lysergic Acid Diethylamide. Yeah, that’s it. LSD. Far out.

Be stronger than yesterday with Our Pills

So, if I get stronger, then maybe my life is not as empty as I thought? Or, as you thought? Wait, who thinks it’s empty? And will these wonderful pills fix it and make me stronger? Oh, you mean stronger like lifting a car off the ground. Got it. Steroid pills.

She is too hot not to want her – do her with our drugs

I’m not doing her at all, thanks. And I’d bet she’d rather whoever does her uses something other than their drugs. Maybe they need to talk to the penis enlargement spammers?

Reign your body with Our Pills.

I’d rather rein (in) my body, not be the freaking queen of it. And do these pills just make you THINK you’re in charge? Because I’m pretty sure the potato chips are in charge. Losing faith in the power of the pills.

Well, I think pills aren’t the answer. I’ll need to find another solution to all of life’s problems. So here’s something completely different:

An Invitation to Grow Rich

If I’d known you could grow the stuff I would have turned my back yard into a rich garden years ago. Problems solved.

 

 

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Carolyn Frayn March 14, 2012 at 11:11 pm

oh ya… now I can sleep. :) Love your humor, love you more…

Reply

Julie March 15, 2012 at 8:13 am

Mitch March 15, 2012 at 8:27 am

I just about choked on my toast while reading this! The one that made me laugh the hardest was “Our pills – when you both want it” – your comments on that one – LMAO!! Thanks again for starting my day with humour. It certainly is the best medicine and good for the soul!

Now, speaking of all these pills, are you sure you weren’t partaking of some the other day (re: alien non-sensical status update)??

Reply

Julie March 15, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Next time I’ll post a warning – Mitch, put down the toast! 😀

Yes, red wine pills. Always the red wine pills. Happily they come in liquid form.

Sean P. Farley March 17, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Hey, pills help me sleep! :) Spammers suck. They’re the worst. The part I hate most is when they use a name within your contact list so that the email looks like it will be legit and not some festering virus out to destroy your computer. Unnerving!

Reply

Julie March 18, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Yes pills have their place (they keep my blood pressure in check). But these spammer pills? Yeah, not so much. Now all my email spam is repetitive – same pills, same penis enlargers. I pass!! 😀

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