Adventures in Alzheimer’s

Adventures in Alzheimer’s – New front porch edition

October 25, 2015

Mom’s front steps are the same cement blocks they’ve been since 1971. The same pre-fab porch with those stupid horizontal raised grippy bits that hurt bare feet like a mofo. Pretty sure I had three parallel bruises on my ass through most of my formative years from sitting on that damn stoop. The blocks that […]

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Adventures in Alzheimer’s – stress and non-existent expectations

August 24, 2015

I recently read a Facebook meme that said stress is the gap between expectation and reality. I call bullshit. If that were true, then it would be a simple matter of reducing expectations to eliminate stress. Well, when dealing with a relative with Alzheimer’s, it doesn’t matter how deep in the well you plunge your […]

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Adventures in Alzheimer’s – hide and seek edition

August 8, 2015

When your parent has Alzheimer’s, you never know from day to day what you’re going to find. Or not find. Her glasses went missing recently – for four bloody days. We searched everywhere we could, in the sugar canister, the freezer, the oven, in every nook and cranny, every drawer and closet. No damn glasses. […]

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Adventures in Alzheimer’s – Ukranian edition

July 25, 2015

Mom called me at work in tears. Her voice trembled, and I imagined her hands did too. She was scared out of her mind about the people coming to Calgary to raid the streets and kill us all. What people? “It’s on the news, can you come right now?” “I’m at work.” “Can you come […]

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Adventures in Alzheimer’s – no arms and no legs edition

July 10, 2015

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who sits in the recliner in Mom’s living room? Daddy… Yeah, I know. So bad. The backstory: Mom reminisces a lot lately. For so many years these stories have been repeated ad nauseum – and almost verbatim from telling to telling. Alzheimer’s brings […]

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Adventures in Alzheimer’s – remembering daddy edition

July 7, 2015

One Saturday in April, I had a rather nice visit with Mom. I delivered her meds and she started to reminisce about Daddy. This past March 27 was the 20th anniversary of his death. He died young, just 61, from a disease that took everything from him. A disease I carry with me. A disease […]

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Adventures in Alzheimer’s – inside my mouth edition

July 5, 2015

Mom had jaw pain so Baby girl took her to the walk-in clinic. A dentist appointment was a few days away, and maybe she just had an infection and needed antibiotics. The doc gave her some stupid cream that baby girl was to put inside her grandmothers mouth. With her fingers. Not going to happen. […]

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Adventures in Alzhiemers – TV people edition

June 12, 2015

“Why do they watch me? Everywhere I move, they watch me.” “It’s like the Mona Lisa, Mom. Just an illusion. They can’t see you.” She wrings her hands and shifts her eyes from me to the TV and back. “Do you think so?” Yes. Yes I do. Mom has always loved her television time. Now […]

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Adventures in Alzheimer’s – racism and homo… euphoria?

June 8, 2015

My mother has never been a racist. She taught us kids not to be, by pure example. But Alzheimer’s is turning her into one. Until those amyloid plaques started mucking with her brain (if that is truly how AZ works), the only group of people she ever had any real disdain for is liberals. What […]

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Adventures in Alzheimer’s – microwaves on fire edition

May 25, 2015

Baby girl and the boy who sleeps with her took Mom her meds one morning and discovered the microwave in the bathtub. Turns out, it lit on fire. So Mom’s fix was to pour water into it. Then she wrangled it to the bathroom and dumped it in the tub, then filled the tub with […]

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Adventures in Alzheimer’s – I know everyone edition

May 18, 2015

My mom has always had a wide range of acquaintances. Maybe it was due to her years supporting politicians’ campaigns and working in the office of the Member of Parliament for Calgary Centre. Or perhaps it’s just her outgoing nature and ability to talk to anyone about anything at any time… It’s an enviable trait. […]

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