Flip the bird – then write fast!

by Julie Frayn on June 3, 2012 in  Writing

Sitting at my desk early one morning, I stared at a blank screen. May as well get ready for work – clearly no brilliant words were awaiting me on that day. I kneeled over the tub with my noggin under the tap ready for a good hair wash, then blood rushed to my head.

A gaggle of thoughts crammed into my brain at once, fighting for attention like five kids all jumping up and down and screaming in unison, “look at me Mommy, look at me.” And I only have two kids.

Wow, where did all these ideas come from? Must be the blood, no?

I quickly finished the washing thing, skipped the conditioner, and ran to my computer to spew all those thoughts onto the page before they disappeared as fast as the blood seeped back down my neck. That’s something that happens more often every day, vanishing thoughts. Damn time, marching on with no consideration for us mere humans.

So if blood pushed into the brain results in epiphanies, then I have a new writing strategy. I’m going to get an inversion table. Or gravity boots. Hang upside down and write my brains out. Maybe literally. Well, not “literally” – just the overused ‘not real or true but I REALLY MEAN IT’ form of literally.

One hitch in that giddy up. If I’m inverted, I will be looking upside down at my laptop. I’ll have to fashion a mounting device, so the computer flips along with the bird. Like an upside down desk with the laptop tethered to it. Seems like an awful lot of work.

I wonder how long I could keep it up (or upside down) until I passed out? On the plus side, my boobs and ass might perk up a bit. Until I am upright again and that gravity bitch takes over. Ah well, small mercies.

So this is why men call their penis the little head. All that rushing blood, it does the thinking for them. Even if it is only for two minutes.


{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Sheila June 3, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I love reading your posts! And this one is another great one :)


Julie June 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Thanks, lovely lady!

Andra Watkins June 3, 2012 at 12:20 pm

I so understand this post, Julie. I may join you. :)


Julie June 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Side by side inversion tables? What a sight we would make…

Jester Queen June 4, 2012 at 7:06 am

We can form a whole roost of ceiling dwelling writers. Of course, maybe that would make us more like bats. Also, my upside down desk might have to have like extra supports or something to keep my boobs out of my face. But maybe I could blog in a support bra or something…


Julie June 4, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Wow, JQ, that was laugh out loud awesome! There could be worse problems than boobs-in-face. I, for one, have never been troubled by that. 😀

mj monaghan June 4, 2012 at 11:56 am

You had me at upside down, oh yeah, and two minutes. Loved this post, Julie.



Julie June 4, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Thanks, MJ. I’ve been had at two minutes once or twice myself.

Serena Akeroyd June 5, 2012 at 7:19 am

LOL, love the idea but I have an inversion table and all it ever does is make my ankles hurt. No way you could endure it for more than five minutes!!

I´m currently staring at that blank screen, so thanks for perking it up for me! 😀


Julie June 5, 2012 at 8:26 am

Glad to perk up your screen, Serena. And thanks for the ankle tip!

Lynn June 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Great post! I have a similar experience in the bath. I guess ideas rushed in with flowing water. Just wish I could type there without risk of lost data, damaged electronics, and death, lol


Julie June 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Death would be a pretty hefty price to pay for a few good ideas! Maybe just a notepad and pencil in the bathroom? 😀

Jase Rosenburg (@JaseR75) June 6, 2012 at 4:44 pm

LOL Julie you crack me up! You definitely have a way with words. Love it!


Julie June 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Happy to crack you up, sir.

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